yay!

event over. whee.

still stuck with chewy's stuff though.

going KL this weekend! for work of course..

yawns. i need to start doing work. :(


was talking to alvin the other day during lunch.

His SS project was pretty interesting. basically he's supposed to go to Chinatown and document how it has so called "evolved" over the years since it was a random bunch of shophouses and warehouses with coolies and stuff. Soo this pretty much talks about how Singapore has changed over the years into a globalised city.
It's actually very thought provoking, coz i can think of various instances where things have changed, like the german sausage pushcart and the bars dedicated to the expats and the sex toy shop and blah blah blah. Even the shophouses are like revamped and clean and stuff, and most shops are dedicated to tourist items (very much like the chinatowns overseas). makes me want to go and snap some photos myself.

of course, that's if i have the time la.

new york in dec.
having a headache over shit things like insurance and when to fly and health forms and visa and MONEY. its so irritating la.
really hope its worth it. dunno how i'll cope there la. dunno whether i ever want to come back too. lol. but of course that is never an option especially with the contract hanging over my head. blah.

P wants us to quit the program. i'm like rah, whatever. the way its going..... sigh. maybe it is really time to move on.

sad and broken

having a moment.

as usual.



you ever had the feeling that you chose wrong, and then that starts off a string of problems that lead to a complete u-turn in your life?

i seem to be living in such a moment right now.


i've been thinking - whether it was a stubborn mistake to choose the route i'm in now. maybe if i hadn't been in this uni, i'd have been somewhere else in the world - and probably be less miserable about my state of affairs.

i admit.

i regret signing the damn contract.
i regret going into this uni.
i regret starting the whole questioning myself over the quality and relevance of my education.
i regret allowing myself to tolerate the kind of shit i'm getting from starfish.

and this is probably the only time i will allow myself to feel that way.
just because i need to get the whole miserable thing off my chest and out of my mind.


life is tiring.
it's like trying to find the end of the rainbow.
the moment you think you have reached, it seems to ahve extended itself furthur.
think abt it- you go through the whole paper chase and get a degree. and then you start work and life goes on while you go through the whole chase over the 5 'C's. Hopefully you fall in love somewhere in the process and you start a family. and then what next? watch your kids grow up? try to make your first million? look forward to retirement? wait for life to end?

there isn't an exact end goal to it. its like you're going through the motions just to get to the point where you stop breathing. maybe you'd have been the greatest philantrophist in the world. or created the biggest scandal since hollywood started. or have earned so much money that watever you say affects the damn dow jones index. or just be some random dude that died in a "final destination"-like freak accident. or just grew so old that your heart just stops because the time is up.
so what if you're any of these things?

my cousin says i'm too jaded. my nus friend says i expect too much of myself. my neighbor says the weird lines on my palm indicates i have a 80% chance of being retarded (which surprisingly, explains alot of things). my boss thinks i'm just scared.

i guess they are all right.


zzz i have serious issues don't i?

Library

Finally done with all the horrible papers. So annoying la. Anyways, time to take a good break before term 3 starts. Which is why I'm now reading a good book at the cafe at bedok - and blogging with my Ipod at the same time. Night out with stitch later- yay!
On the side note, wonder how al is doing in jk now. He's coming back on sun, like one day before term 3. Crazy fella. If he gets quarantined I'll laugh. HA!
Moving out of pgp tmr. Gonna miss the 24 the aircon and the personal spacei have been enjoying. C'mon la, how to have personal space with a 12 yr old kid brother permanently within 3m of you at home? Zzz oh wells.
Pat wants to meet me. Let's see if he ever manages to even fix a date. Sick of waiting for things to happen with him. Shall keep myself distracted with s ;) though I doubt things will work out in that direction. Fun hanging with him though. He's Damn rubbish la. Lol.

over and done with

its disappointing really.

and i'm feeling emotionally torn. on one hand, i wished you had fight for it.
on the other, i don't want you too coz i know i would just fall back.

life sucks.

anyway, it's over.

i dont know whether to say finally or not.

playing 3 songs back to back..

you're not sorry by taylor swift
please dont leave me by pink
and blind by lifehouse.

that's probably how messed up i am. rah

okay time to stare at ODEs :(

moody.

:(

guess this is what i get from bouncing around too much while hanging out with the rest of the guys.

mood swings are coming back.

my back hurts (still)

did an xray. basically i'm screwed.

going for physio, and i basically have no spare cash for it.




zzzz life sucks.

okay fine there are people willing to pay for me. but that's not the point!
never like oweing anybody anyway. besides daddy that is. lol

no purpose leh... zzzz

complain complain complain

suhui is currently in class listening to some structure thingy.

which obviously she doesnt understand.

midterms are in 2 weeks

which basically means that suhui is screwed coz she doesnt understand 4 out of ther 5 modules.

damn

puked the other day from eating bad oysters.

starting to think that life sucks.

on the bright side, got approached for something again. so entertain me and let me reiterate – suhui is popular. though this time is not about love and relationships and whatever. pretty much have enough of that.

kinda sucks when someone likes you and he’s a really good friend of yours. coz the moment he comes clean, things change – you got to watch all your actions, try not to send any more wrong signals. and that means i cant be who i am. hate losing friends this way. and i’ve lost too many already.

dinner with the family last night. starting to hate such events. my frequency is so off from the rest of them. even those my age or at least around there. dont know whether its my fault. as jo said, CNY + christmas thingys are “dont bring brain out” days. so true.

entertained myself checking out my little nephews. taught yisheng a new word – poof. which my brother has been using. before that was jibaboom. if his mother knew i was the one who taught him that…. whoops. lol

oh well. time to go back to lecture. which i dont understand. bleagh

school ah!

suhui is bored and blogging and facebooking instead of staring at her notes. talk about major procrastination. lol. right wilson? fish fish fish!!!

school has started (unfortunately) and tutorials and labs start like next week.
sucks coz i havent had enough of "dont bring brain to school" first 2 weeks.
siigh. another 2 more months of insane running around in NUS. bleagh. never thought i would miss the 28-30 hr week of poly so much.

in any case, i kinda need to buck up this sem, considering that I will be helping out in boulderactive in a couple weeks time. even though jo thinks i'm crazy. but who cares. wahahhaha
spent the last week cooking mostly in dorm.
stuffed mushrooms, salmon, mushrooms, brocolli, eggs, sausages, bread pudding and more cholestrol raising stuff.

suhui is getting fat.

anyway, my room is still half in a mess, and i'm tempted to start on even more projects for the heck of it.
in my head now:

1. a side project involving red facepaint and the words boulderactive
2. a box with a metal wire cover
3. gold fishes on my windows
4. floating books bookshelf
5. pseudo aquarium (thsi is supposed to be a prezzie)
6. and since we are at it, let's do a terrarium too!

I think i'm going crazy. Must be the CNY thing.

parents kinda mad at each other again. zzz whats new

blah. shall update when in the mood.

and when i got something less boring to update about besides projects school and food. which is probably never. blah