sucks

its always at a wrong timing.

though i must say i was mentally prepared since that night. though it doesn't help that there's so many things i need to settle at the same time.

keep getting flashbacks of what happened. even in my sleep. which is really disturbing. it's my fault, u know it, and i know it. what u say, that u dont blame me and stuff like that, doesn't really matter.

and the main reason why i'm letting go, is not because of the lifestyle issue, but because i know it will never be the same again
i don't wanna say anything else regarding u anymore.

this time it's different.
it hurts me to say this and i'm not even sure whether u will be reading this and probably at the back of my head i'm thinking the exact opposite of what i'm going to say but i hope u wont talk to me for the time being.
coz when this kinda thing happens whatever u say usually gets me a) even more upset or b)all flared up. and i can't do this when u talk to me. actually it's more like i stop functioning totally, like what happened during the meeting at MS.

time is moving exceptionally slow today. doesn't help that i forgot to bring my ds out so i spent the whole journey listening to music, trying to persuade my head to stop throbbing coz i really didn't have a good sleep, and feeling crappy whenever it gets to the lovey-dovey songs, which i skip once the first verse ends. think time is having fun kicking my ass today. haiz. just want this to be over asap.

"Time flies.
Time waits for no man.
Time heals all wounds.
All any of us wants is more time.
Time to stand up.
Time to grow up.
Time to let go.
Time."