procrastinating. as usual.

Su hui's flight to SF is confirmed! yay :)

... why am I thinking of holidays now? zzz my mug mode button is Spoiled. sigh

will be parting with ds today. eugene will be taking care of it.. haha

yawns I'm blogging in physics Class again. I really need my mojo back. :(

I'm here blogging in class.

Yes I know i'm supposed to be a good girl & listen. but seriously, i've been anything but.
life has been majorly crappy. homework is like Piling up. exams are LITERALLY around the corner. the msp program is resetting. and of course there's the men issue. Including the inapproppriate men issue. talk about screwed.

I don't know what I'm doing recently. Just seem to be flitting around, with no direction or aim. it's really disturbing, coz I'm supposed To have an aim, and even if I don't, My energy usually makes up for it. without both...

Worldskills ended well. that's what I tell myself anyway. Could have done better though . And that feeling is sucky. i tested My limits though. and found it. It didn't kill me. so I guess it made me stronger. Not that it really matters anymore.

on the not really that much brighter side, I'm 20 now. Spent my birthday at home Making apple & Strawberry crumble pie. Kinda random but it was really good. lol how exciting right.. hurhurhur

Will blog
more later if I have time. and not playing facebook. I really really need to Start studying :(

skeletons in the closet

everyone has them.

i managed to increase the number of skeletons in my closet recently. and interestingly, i'm not bothered by it.

okay. maybe i am. a little.

its's been a really crappy week. and i think i have waay too many issues. and for those who have still got no idea what i'm talking about, dont worry, coz i've got no idea too. i'm just dumping whatever is popping out of my head. which probably explains the lack of structure and total randomness. oh well.

it's interesting how the mind works. how you can accept and be part of something that you were so much against. and damn. did i feel high after it was all over. well at least for the space of 30 mins. and THEN i started feeling restless. so much for a complete break away from reality. coz reality hits HARD after that.

.

being very cynical now. and so tempted to hit the self-destruct button. it seems like i'm losing control, which is SO not me. i feel lost, which isn't such a surprise coz i never know what i want anyway, but's bothering me a little too much nowadays.

i have a problem. but i have got NO idea what it is.

damn.

they say you should never regret. i totally agree with that. so screw it. high-ness rocks. and i think i'm becoming schizophrenic. gaaah

stole this off facebook

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. The person is real, and the feelings are real - but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."-chuck klosterman

uni

i'm staring at my work and hoping it would somehow magically finish itself. zzz.

dont know why but there's like this weird kerosene-y smell in my room. like its not bad enough with the musty smell which i managed to elminate with some jasmine air freshener. my room is so screwed la.

which brings me to the point that i'm kinda screwed too. whatever i touch in my room generates an electrostatic shock. and its damn painful when you sit down and end up shocking yourself =.=

uni life is kinda extreme. and very flexible. i mean, its like redefining freedom. those who think that poly is free enough already, wait till you come to uni. in academics you choose your own modules, and your workload. your social life gets really extreme too, depending on alot of factors like whether you stay in hall, have CCAs and actually talk to people in class. i would think its actually possible to go through one semester without talking unnecessarily - i mean most of the labs are individual and since you can have really really off timetables from the rest of your peers, its possible to go into every class and see a bunch of different pple. which is good for those loners i suppose. the workload here is kinda crazy too, labs come with analysis questions and lab reports, tutors can walk off right after class starts if you have no questions to ask in class so you kind of got to finish every damn question just in case you need him to go through something. exams carry an insanely high weightage, generally 60% (though i have one that is 80%  !??!!?!) and the pace makes the poly pace look like a joke. here, its all about how you balance everything and everything is your own business.  like whether your term tests clash with each other and your own schedule like how you manage your time such that you can finish 2 lab reports and study for 2 term tests and also finishing your tutorials within the space of a week.

if you're not careful. confirm plus chop burnout.

and of course, there's the undiscussed portion of uni life, largely involving clubs, boy + girls, smoking (even though its a non-smoking campus) and top 10 places to make out (which was actually published somewhere. like SERIOUSLY).

i'm kinda settling in. taking the internal shuttle everyday to get to my fac which is situated on a goddamn hill so i got to climb that stupid hill everyday. mugging, trying to smoke something out in the lab reports, having dinner with yizhe every now and then, annoying the TAs, slacking in my room on my bed in my old t-shirt, rock climbing every tuesday and generally trying to adapt to the world-class pace. which is fk-ed up. oh well.

its the week before term break already!

i am so screwed.

sigh.

physics doesnt freaking make sense.

die.

oh and yizhe is making me fat. >.<

Time flies. suddenly its like our 24th month. why am i still questioning our r/s though? nevertheless, its been a whole lot of unforgettable times, even though we dont really spent that much time together. :)  iheartu

exercise!

suhui is feeling a sense of achievement.


DESPITE her short legs, arms AND body

she managed to touch the top rock of the rock climbing wall..

*applause please* :D

okay.. i know i'm supposed to somehow grab it and hang on to it. but my short-ness got in my way. not that i didn't try. and i really should have jumped, but well, when u're two storeys high in the air and kind of height phobic that will never ever be on your mind.

so end up i fell wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

lol.

my level 1 course is on saturday :D looking forward.

next tues is chalk day again yay.


if i ever take some pictures i'll let u see my nice butt :D


lol and i'm in aerobics too. so wrong la. and so not me. haha

procrastinating

i am procrastinating to the max.

i've got a pile of things to clear and i haven done.

i got one qn more for my physics assignment and i am in no mood to do it.

i got a stack of readings to do but i kind of want my bed more.

and dont mention TUTORIALS to me.

and of course. there's always WSS at the back of my mind. sighhhh.



u know whats the worst part?
i'm not used to my bed.
and because i'm trying to get used to this bed, i'm not used to my home bed.
woke up cursing and swearing on sunday morning. damnit.
i need a full body massage. sigh


had "steamboat" with xiuling and a couple other random cluster mates just now.
i made salmon. yum. haha

anyway the girl staying next to me is a doctor. like wow..

the few things i'm extremely annoyed with

 

1. myself for screwing up my timetable
2. nyp for not crediting my pay
3. my eyes for wanting to droop
4. labs for not being at decent timings. zzz
5. special awards committee for not publishing their name/contact/whatever on the RSVP ><
6. the radio for playing that annoying song
7. ida for not crediting my allowance. zzz
8. my BOTH bank accnts being broke.

i'm not in the best of all moods.

on the bright side though, i've got 2 brownies for breakfast :D

 

 

23 months? ... :)

5 things i have learnt so far

1. check your email everyday. you never know what's going to be in it.
2. the e-learning portal is better than nyp's one. and you need to be super reliant on it because EVERYTHING from lecture notes to contacts to assignments to forums are all on it. so not used to that
3. brush up on reading skills. i've got about 50+ pages of readings so far. and it's barely day 3
4. there are a million exchange students in my residence. out of which the guys tend to be pretty hot and like to walk around topless. time to camp downstairs :)
5. strawberry mango juice from fass canteen is just about the nicest thing on earth. hmm.. at least, until i try strawberry soursop later when i pass by the canteen that is. wait for updates!

Day 3 and counting. havent made any friends in my LT yet. just so out of place coz everyone else seems to know each other and tend to cluster together and i generally like to sit in front which kinda makes it worst coz everyone else sits at the back. oh well

the lecturers so far are pretty good i must say - have attended 4 out of 5 modules so far. the next new one is tmr - kinda looking forward

procrastinating.

okay. after a million years of getting both my very slow notebook and my equally slow desktop to work, i finally processed the cambodia pictures.

they are now in a very nice 1.83Gb big .wmv file and is a slideshow of 28 mins.
so if you have 30 mins of spare time and wanna see some pictures of rocks and food. let me know. lol.


things been pretty mild lately.
i'm aimlessly going to work everyday. and for some reason i CANNOT seem to wake up and i end up cabbing almost everyday. im trying to make some stupid lcd work. but evidently i'm supposed to use SPI so that i can program another microcontroller with a microprocessor such that the microcontroller can control the lcd. which, apparently is not very easy to do. oh well. i think i shall shelve that and do PWM instead. zzzs

school's starting soon, which basically means i have a million things to take care of that i have yet to. like getting finance to send IDA the invoice, and checking in into PGP and applying for my ez link card. i finally did clearance in all my jobs though, so pending my last day at NYP, i will be officially unemployed. which sucks. and it doesn't help that the lazy streak in me is forever around nowadays.

highlight of the week was yest - where we went to NYNY to eat to celebrate pam's birthday. oh btw the seafood platter was really. really. really good. seriously. the calamaris are fantastic, prawns are very fresh. fish was not soggy and the cold crab was seriously good. and i forgot to mention. there was smoked salmon in it! but even though they said it was for two, i think 3 can share it comfortably. or maybe two guys with really big appetites. oh and if you get a cake there, the staff can even go to your table to sing happy birthday! which is definitely a plus if you need to embarass somebody. lol. it was really fun. then we spent the rest of the night reminiscing about our old class. :D

calvyn told me something really interesting and funny. if you've really really dark skin. like almost black kinda dark. and you have dry hair. and you wear a black cap + black shirt + black pants +black shoes, some door sensors dont work! apparently its tried and tested by one of his really really dark friends. and he was literally dancing in front of the door and it didn't open. and then all he did was - flip palm up- and the door opened! lol. its so wrong la. the door sensor is color-ist.

kinda at this point in time in life where i'm not sure what is important anymore. i mean, i KNOW what is important. like studies and whatever. but im kinda questioning it.
dont know why. haiz.

whining

its 1 am.

i'm hungry.

i'm sleepy.

i'm looking at two computer screens at once coz i got to sort out all my photos.

and i got work tomorrow.

and 500 pictures from my weekend trip to angkor, cambodia to sort through.

and i dunno why i'm wasting time blogging.

how smart of me.


anyway, silverlight rocks :)

the problem with paradoxes

 

i'm back into the whole paradox theory.. stuff that is so simple and yet so complicated, explains everything and yet nothing.. like einstein's theory of relativity where a moving clock is slower that a stationary one when observed from a stationary point.

it's simply put, perception and yet its so against our conventional way of thinking..

argh. i'm killing braincells again. and its so stitch's fault.

 

sigh.

 

school's boring as usual. though i'm getting paid to be bored so that kind of is the silver lining in the thing.

so tired. i'm annoyed with my program again. going to camp in front of the computer tomorrow to solve the damn problem where i clear PORTA and its doesn't freaking clear. argh.

oh and did i tell you that i'm stuck with a PC that has NO internet and a roller ball mouse????

so tempted to smash it.. argh

 

tomorrow is supposed to be medical checkup day for NUS(like the 3rd checkup i'm having this year. i feel like i have some chronic disease or something) but due to some unforeseen circumstances of a certain time of the month i cant go. zzz. going to call them tomorrow.

 

it's surprising how things have a habit of turning out the way you didn't expect them to. its either that or i never learn from experience about guy friends.

 

he said he doesn't understand me. and its probably easier not to try to. he said that i stand out from the crowd - with the "what can you do to me" attitude i have. he said he doesn't know why he just appears whenever i call. and he said he doesn't know why he doesn't have to be someone else when he's with me.

what does that say?

too much and too little.

i think i need to keep my distance. but i always make the same mistake of not doing that.

a few important things to update/try

 

1. figure out my new HP ipaq :) thanks to daddy
   
2. eat the jade snow whatever marketing gimmick name mc flurry thing.. i tried it once.. nice - if you like matcha powder (you know the green tea powder some of the jap restaurants use? not the lame tea bag)
   
3. harrass Rex for masala tea from nepal :) cousins are so useful lol
   
4. study :(

randoming again

 

found this while facebooking :)

 

ITE trip today. why am i so high profile??

zzz

 

5 days and counting. i'm so going to die. haiz

the day is coming

graduation - check.

annoying graduation speech - check.

scholarship - check.

scholarship info sending - check.

scholarship medical check up - pending

Salary - pending

resignation from SCH and Esplanade - pending

NUS/NTU application acceptance - check

Accommodation application - check

 

well, most of my things are done.

kind of just waiting for the day to come.

it's on June 18th. Not sure whether i'm looking forward to it.

kind of like everyone's expectations are on me just because of what i am. oh well. this is one of the bad thing about being a high-flyer.

 

really in need of a break. Jo is going bangkok next week. I'm so jealous - ha. what i would give to spend one week just shopping till i run out of money in bangkok. and the thai massages.
but then again.. hmm. at this rate i'm going i think i might just settle for a weekend at some nice hotel slacking my whole day through.

but well, its not something i can afford to do now. the qualifying round is soon so theoretically i'm supposed to build up my "fire" to it and not take a long break in the middle of nowhere.

 

IDA says i cant work part-time. which makes sense. but is really really sucky. i'd love to hang around in esplanade. wanna feel the vibe there. its just so refreshing. but oh well.. i mean, i could just go ahead, and nobody would know the better.. but well, i guess its always better to play safe.. skali somebody throw a dagger at my back.

 

grad was okay. i mean, its fun and vibe-y and all that. but i attended 2 sessions back to back so the only thing i felt was that i was damn freaking exhausted. doesnt help that the grad gown was so heavy, and the shoulder pads were so BIG. then there were all the hand shakings and photos and frozen smiles. and the messed up speech... okay.. it didn't go THAT badly but i screwed up a word just as i was ending my speech. trust silly me to do that. then my dumb little bro was "snatching" satay with the principal. so smart of him.

then that's me in the grad book.. i look. weird. hahaha.

bro took alot of messed up photos at grad. everything was blur. was so hilarious. spent the whole day laughing at him. haha okay i'm so mean.

 

was really busy recently.. there was a week-long wake and so i was there every night i think about 2 weeks ago. (sorry time is like of no consequence recently. everything just passes so fast.) Then there's work at nyp, which is so mentally draining, and work at SCH, where your karma just gets really low they just like to scream right in your face about whatever they are unhappy about. had one incident the other day during the young children's concert. quite funny when i think back, coz there are like 9 staff attending to this patron. like WHOA. haha.

got really random and started taking photos of random stuff

this is my current msn pic. hahaa

my little nephew.

snack corner @ lab. its restocked every week :)

the nails i did for graduation. or rather the graduation gave me a perfect reason to do my nails. haha

 

yizhe being random @ board room yest. hahaa

TO DO:

1. sneeze
2. plan MIXoc
3. actually pay attention to the silverlight talk going on now.
4. study chapt 7 on opamp filters (maybe do a nice app on it to consolidate. i need to IT!)
5. zzzz
6. caffien-ate myself
7. prepare for grad speech. i cant pronounce th-s for nuts.
8. shop/do something to destress
9. find $$$
10. drink. surprisingly i havent touched alcohol for slightly more than a month or so
11. try to make my hair less of a mess now that its slightly curly
12. find my bed and hug it.
13. think of something to do with the pink octopus coz its ending up on the floor far too often. and that basically means its taking up too much space on my bed.
14. find a letterbox to throw a overdue letter in. IDA is so going to kill me
15. play guitar hero :D

pics from chalet

suhui


luppy


more of suhui


joseph


Wilson (whom i'll be joining at NUS)


Desmond


Jeremy



Cabbage captain's ball

from yizhe :)

chalet

back from chalet - MS retreat

created a huge scandal about myself. hahaha. and involved 2 innocent guys, namely luppy and joseph. lol damn wrong.


anyway i watched iron man TWICE.
2 days in a row to be exact.

once was with stitch - who made me wait for him for 2 freaking hours. AND made me watch the show at the very first row of the theatre.
second time was in the middle of the night with joseph, shahfiq, desmond and jeremy.

it has a very good plot. story was told very fluently - though the very last ending could have been a little better (kinda corny the way it ended)
but still... it's reallly really good. one of the best plots i have seen so far.

had a good talk last night with jo, cs, luppy and alvin about the next meeting.
think it would be really fun :P hopefully things start going up again

maybe this isn't working out.

big decisions

as i just twittered - i made a big decision that set my life path for the next 6 years or so.

the past few weeks hasn't been fun at all - was running around places attending scholarship interviews all over the freaking place.

finally there's some result - so to speak.
was offered 3 scholarships, DSTA, LTA and IDA

wasn't too keen on DSTA, so it was mainly a fight between LTA and IDA.

trust me. choosing between a company where u know the work is suitable for your personality and a company where u see yourself there isn't the easiest decision.

damn. sometimes i just want to be given no choice. but on the other hand i think i will still complain. hahaha

so IDA it is. after a long afternoon of stoning and gossiping with Ms Lim. lol