random updates

random updates made in 3rd person.

suhui misses her old laptop.
and she's saving up for a new one.

suhui likes the bartenders @ timbre. btw - their names, just in case close friend of hers forgets, are nirah, anson and shah + irene
suhui is also annoyed by them and their irritating magic tricks.

suhui passed the psychometric test too. probably only because of the visual reasoning part.
now she has got to go for a psychological test at 830 freaking am in the morning.
yizhe and joseph says that its to determine whether suhui is crazy.
suhui doesnt understand why they need 4 hours to do that. besides, suhui is not entirely sure whether she is sane in the very first place -laughs-

suhui is taking up 2 assignments for mosaic.

suhui is also cranky. as starfish and joseph can testify. lol.

and suhui is not in school today. yay

crappy crappy crap

:(

lost my laptop.

enough said.

hai.

can some kind soul please please return it to the mrt control station?

it's a hp lappie with a red skin in a lime greent pouch.


i want my laptop back..

Working Experiences and Learning Points

last week was a major learning experience for me.

was at the esplanade working.. Sound Seed Project

basically it involves alot of electronic music, lights, visuals and a very interesting use of space and projection materials such as plastic balloons.

pretty cool actually.

so yup, i was helping to set up, though it wasnt really part of my job scope, along with the EYs

spent the whole entire week planting seeds and blowing balloons.. my conclusion is that i really need to eat more carrots (i can't freaking see in the dark), and that i'm gonna have a nice butt now that its over ( imagine standing/squatting/ sitting cross-legged for hours on end. trust me, squatting down is the best way to stretch the butt muscles. they hurt like crazy now. :( )

kind of cool seeing this kind of project set up from scratch
plus, i got to land helicopter flowers on the audience's heads for all 3 shows! i'm so guilty of 高楼拋物 lol

learned lots of stuffs - including conversing better in chinese. haha

2nd learning point. never ever ever let somebody in the freaking SECURITY dept like you. trust me. i'm literally being spied on. i walk out to marina square from the satellite counter, and said guy in the green room actually knows about it.
oh and ya, he got my number because it's actually at the security counter for them to spam call me if i dont return the dressing room key.
plus he's been trying to give me chocs while i'm at work.

anyone wants to talk to me about invasion of privacy?

Mark suggested that i so tell him that i got together with a boyfriend and act insanely happy about it. i think i just might have to do that, especially if it continues on during Mosaic..
either that or i talk to him about professionalism - Minchu gave me that idea.

zzz why do all the weirdest people like me?

well otherwise working there is pretty fun - the people are nice and friendly (generally) and the crew at TS likes to disturb me. (i was asked to climb up to the ceiling yest to take down all the speakers). The security guards all know me - i like to think that's because i'm nice (:D) though it might just be another case.. got to know a few other ALOs.. watched the hunks at what is man? (the lead actor is .... omfg.. ) in fact i hung around at the theatre after their show for a full 15 mins to look at guys while talking to Belle. haha.. then i was so exasperated at kelvin yest coz he was complaining that he was tired coz he woke up at 6am to play soccer and rushed to work at 10 and stayed on for the party till midnight, and he was rushing home ..... to watch ManU vs Arsenal. MEN! for a moment i actually thought he wanted to go home and sleep. seriously.

looking forward to Mosaic. which reminds me, i want to buy the Mosaic tank from esplanade shop. haha

choices

it's no fun when you dont have a choice.
neither is it fun when you DO have a choice, and many at that.

kinda sucks when everything is hanging onto each other in a freakingly horrifyingly tangled mess. gives you the feeling that when one drops, the rest will come crashing down as well.

it's like you're sitting in a kopitiam and drinking coffee and waiting for the world to go by while there's this fan spinning over your head which is in serious danger of crashing down SPLAT! on your head.


i think you get why it's not a very nice feeling.



submitted my nus app already. now i need to get the paperwork done and pay.
i dunno what to do for ntu. not every sure why i'm applying anyway. probably because i feel insecure just applying to nus.
gaaah. rubbish.


emo-ed yest. though somebody tried to cheer me up.
very tired of being strong for everyone - my dad, my mom, my bro and now even my aunt.
and its scary when everything is threatening to just crumble. and the thing is i'm just waiting for the bricks to fall, while everyone is expecting me to keep the ceiling up.
it's horrifying. not to mention overwhelming.


how do you support the ceiling when the foundation is gone?

等了又等

went to orchard with weiling and han wei today to cny shop.
bought 1 top, 1 belt, 1 pair of earring and 1 necklace.
kinda think i'm shopping for new accessories more than clothes.
ha.
but it was fun.

met gary at topshop (:S) and chatted over some issues.
nice to hear that wu is doing something like finally.

work was kinda rubbishy.
got shouted at by a bunch of patrons coz there's the rule that admission is only allowed during the end of the the first piece i.e the rest who comes later than 8:07pm has to wait for intermission at approx 845-900. to the extent that there were vulgarities hurled.
then there was this family drama when this guy brought the wife and 4 kids and only 5 tickets. and moreover one of the kids was (obviously) below 6. shall not elaborate but anyway he was mean to all the girls, including our marketing staff. then he kept insisting on going in with the whole family. and after that because he missed an entry point, the wife threw a temper and stormed off and threw the program booklet on the floor. >.<
then florence shouted at pauline over the autograph session.

man. what a day.

be at esplanade on monday and tuesday.
sort of nervous.
hopefully things will turn out well.

等了又等..
几时才能等得到?
等了又等..
希望.. 真的能等得到..

等了又等
陈洁仪

但愿栽花可以忘掉伤感
季节变迁了 始终不改我心
但愿你未在人生中消失
抹掉眼泪为你再等 时日秒秒细致像尘
仍为你记录了在何年何月与日
曾是爱过便叫人兴奋
纵让折磨的心 等了又等

爱着你 挂念你 渴望你前来和我接近
花也哭 花亦笑 似在说 无望也不要紧
我愿意 有日会 一觉苏醒这梦会变真
你若有日回来 重生多可爱
盼为我亲这心 深深去吻

但愿花朵可以陪伴一生
季节变迁里 细数天天变更
动物 作伴未能开解痴心 暗地里又为你再等

running

all the essay writing is making me cranky.
i hate to inner reflect.
it makes me feel so useless.
and essay writing makes me feel really narcissist
wat with all the extra fluff i got to add in.

why does running away always seem to be the best solution?

miss u. haiz

been so sleepy lately.
dunno why

nus scholarship talk on friday

psc submission now.
reminder to self:
fax in sec sch cca records
write "Statement of Purpose: What are some of the values and beliefs you hold strongly to? Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions. " essay.

dunno where to start. blah

blah blah blah

learned a few things last night. lol

wasn't in a good mood when i went ot work- family matters

ended up dragging royston out (even though project assignment is due tmr for him. =x whoops) after work. wanted to drink , then changed to coffee and end up ronnie joined us and we had Mac at circular road.

so damn empty there lor. we had the whole of mac to ourselves so we were talking rubbish. and plotting misdeeds to overtake other companies for ushering. and exchanging pointers to "keng". lol. so evil.

anyway, ronnie taught us how to get fresh french fries (fries w/o salt please! and can i have a packet of salt for my coke? lol). and fresh burgers (can i have my bun grilled a little longer? and my fillet o fish w/o tartar sauce). and when to go shopping for IT stuff coz of the distribution and reseller patterns of clearing stock. and how he has 5 handphones and the telcos are subsidising all his bills. and the tatic to questioning regarding credit card waivers.
lol. conclusion, ronnie and huatchee are king when it comes to these "keng"ing stuff.

open house over the weekend. damn tiring considering there was no crowd and there was nothing to do besides standing around and looking pretty.
kinda concerned over the club matters though. but i dont wanna step in until i absolutely have to.

went for the esplanade interview on thurs. damn fast - it finished in like 5 to 10 mins. (probably coz i was the last one. lol) they will inform me regarding the results this week. dunno whether getting it will be a good thing. after all i didnt inform them about the possibility that i will be temp-ing with nyp. oh well.

had sushi after that with somebody whom i havent seen in a while. we talked quite a bit. glad to hear she's doing fine, though not sure how long more that will last.

damn drained emotionally. though dinner last night cheered me up considerably. oh well. guess i will be okay. i think

life sucks

back from 3 day trip to genting

used the time to get some alone time

so now i'm recharged and at full gear - though not by choice. haha



kinda sucks when u switch off for a couple days and come back and everything's not going well.

sucks even more when u know u sacrificed so much for something and end up there is a high possibility that u can't enter just because of the screwed up window period. and its really annoying knowing how little u can do about it and just have to sit there and wait for the fate to be decided.
and the stupid scholarship issue coz i really dont know what the freaking hell i want though i know that i really need it. or rather that's what my father thinks
and that leads me to the uni issue.
and then there's the IES competition and i need to get the powerpoint out for the internal presentation.
and open house is so unproductive.
and i keep getting the feeling that i'm trying to have my cake AND eat it. like the contract staff thing. and the esplanade thing. and the usher thing. and the microsoft thing. and the starfish thing.
i think i have too many things.

and i'm ranting too much.
i hate it when my mind's in such a whirl.

fk. life sucks.
and i hate it when i cant control how much my life sucks.

zzZZzzZzZzzzZ

okay... i know i'm not supposed to blog during school hours.

BUT. i am so sleepy. and its nearing end of the day.

so here i am.


anyway, just to update on a couple of things.

MOS was kinda boring. though baofa and chunsiong both won good stuff. and there was free alcohol. and yizhe was kinda funny in that suit. and i managed to see my fav stitch at chinaone :)
must have been kind of early when the event ended and thus the dance floor was empty. got bored after a while so we left for coffee at starbucks


and you know that there is something really wrong with society when you get harassed by 4 five/six year old boys at work and their conclusion after annoying you for 15 mins over everything from rules that say audience is not allowed in the hall after the event , religion and my job, is that you're not a christian coz your name is Tan Su Hui (as they read from my name tag) and therefore you're bad.
i am so rendered speechless.

though i dont mind being known as the ruler of all evil. haha


and yesterday at the usher training session, i was analysing the dinosaur age rule book

some of the rules on the first page of the first section
1. Ushers should not gamble or smoke while on duty
2. No gathering is allowed
3. Ushers should not make unnecessary phone calls while on duty
4. Ushers should not eat on duty
5. Ushers should remain alert at all times

and blah blah.

i broke like 80% of them. i should so be sacked. hahaha


and i finished playing the whole of chocobos! yay.




okay. i ran out of things to say. lol. i am so cranky now.


i am determined
and i have got no idea what i'm trying to prove.
and yet i dont want it to end at all.
u have no idea how much i wanna put down everything for u when u say stuff like that
but i dont want to fall anymore

and really. all i'm doing at this point of time, is agreeing with what you told me previously.

MSP christmas

Christmas Party is over!

suhui is relieved :)

could have done better on being an emcee though, but well, i'm not really that joker a person to emcee well :(

pictures!

this is me doing last min preparation

me picking up my christmas gift. ( all the presents were sponsored by a variety of pple, from stanley to chewy to daniel to joe wilson to "steve" and "bill" and even DARSIM!)

yizhe looking for my present. which is so big they can't find it

My "big" christmas present, sponsered by nick

luppy says to email him to say thanks

my dinner table

group photo!

and my most fav photo of the night!
joe wilson, senior director, and our MSP cup!
thanks luppy for taking this for me

it's been fun.

another round on Weds at MOS :)

pple

this is the reason why i'm getting fat.

seriously dunno what's wrong with them lor.

one, refuses to give up. i mean, it's been more than a year. you should have gotten the point by now that things are DIFFERENT now. and just because i respond to your msges regarding school and stuff doesn't mean that we're still friends. and it definitely doesn't mean that i'm going to change my mind about telling you what went wrong the last time. at the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether i tell u why i have been ignoring you for so long. you have your life and your gf. i have mine. whether you know or not, doesn't change a thing. so seriously, stop bothering me and spend the time u use to think about this over and gone issue on your gf and your studies. sheesh.

the other, hai. i dont even know where to start. we have been through so much, parted so many times. and now, even though we're back together, i'm waaay beyond caring so much about what you do. which is kinda sad. but really. i dont know what i'm doing, and how i feel when it comes to trying to make us work anymore. and everything you say, doesn't make me feel any better. it's like, they are gorgeous and pretty and whatever. and me? i'm just me. i guess at the end of the day, i'm always the inferior one.

things have been so crappy. hai

sucks

its always at a wrong timing.

though i must say i was mentally prepared since that night. though it doesn't help that there's so many things i need to settle at the same time.

keep getting flashbacks of what happened. even in my sleep. which is really disturbing. it's my fault, u know it, and i know it. what u say, that u dont blame me and stuff like that, doesn't really matter.

and the main reason why i'm letting go, is not because of the lifestyle issue, but because i know it will never be the same again
i don't wanna say anything else regarding u anymore.

this time it's different.
it hurts me to say this and i'm not even sure whether u will be reading this and probably at the back of my head i'm thinking the exact opposite of what i'm going to say but i hope u wont talk to me for the time being.
coz when this kinda thing happens whatever u say usually gets me a) even more upset or b)all flared up. and i can't do this when u talk to me. actually it's more like i stop functioning totally, like what happened during the meeting at MS.

time is moving exceptionally slow today. doesn't help that i forgot to bring my ds out so i spent the whole journey listening to music, trying to persuade my head to stop throbbing coz i really didn't have a good sleep, and feeling crappy whenever it gets to the lovey-dovey songs, which i skip once the first verse ends. think time is having fun kicking my ass today. haiz. just want this to be over asap.

"Time flies.
Time waits for no man.
Time heals all wounds.
All any of us wants is more time.
Time to stand up.
Time to grow up.
Time to let go.
Time."

update

the maggots were still alive even after one night.

spent the whole morning clearing it with my aunt.

now the maggots are probably still alive, but somewhere in the sewers i guessed.
we flushed them down the toilet bowl.

bleagh

today is not a good day.

the only good thing about today



my salmon+ham+mushrooms+cheese+raisin+olives+lettuce sandwich

---

i'm amazed by maggots, really

and totally turned off by them too.


to get everyone up to speed,

i basically have 2 fish tanks outside, out of which only the top one has water and fish inside.
the bottom one was drained by my dad.

and my smart dad forgot that there was this huge suckerfish inside.

and obviously, the suckerfish drowned in air.


oh and by the way my parents left singapore on saturday to china.

noticed the faint smell for a couple of days, but didn't think much of it. kinda thought one of dad's guppies jumped out and died though i looked around and didn't see anything.
until my neighbour told me there was a dead fish in the tank.

which so happened to be teeming with tiny little white squirmy maggots. which immediately got me really squirmish.
:S

had no choice but to use a plastic bag to get it out of the tank and dumped it into the rubbish chute without even taking a second look at it.

so problem #1 solved. now for problem #2.
maggots in the tank.
and i didn't really know what to do with it.

smsed dad who told me to spray insecticide and dump dettol in. and leave it there till he comes back to clear it.

asked my aunt to come up in the evening to help me with it because i have got no idea where the dettol is in the house.

and basically i found out something. insecticide does NOT work on maggots. they just seem to squirm faster around while probably laughing at me choking on the fumes. dettol doesn't really work too. we poured like half a bottle. and the maggots were STILL squirming.
so fine. we poured in water to try and drown the maggots. which kind of made it worse because the BIG ones floated up and crawled on the wood thingy that pple put in fish tanks. which is totally disgusting by the way. so we poured more water in. and chatted for like an hour or so.

AND last we checked, the maggots were still squirming about. esp the big ones.

totally killed my appetite.

waiting till tmr for them to drown. hopefully they do :X

argh i'm so traumatised by maggots

---

don't understand why they are so afraid.
maybe it's coz i'm not afraid of speaking my mind.
but i guess i can safely say that when i say something, i never intentionally want to hurt anybody.
i'm just trying to get things right,
after all, i pay the fees. why should i accept substandard material?
ya i guess it's always a matter of grey area, and maybe it will affect someone's rice bowl too.
but someone's rice bowl WILL always be on the line anyway.
it's how the corporate world works. competition = efficiency and productivity.
i guess alot dont understand that.
and maybe i don't understand too.
else why will i be bothered that they close to me are warned by others that they shouldn't be close to me?
and it annoys me that i'm bothered by something i shouldn't be bothered with. >.<

food

i declare that i am very irritated.

this is my off-week. mdm tan gave me a whole week off to get some air. and i was supposed to not do any electronics related things so i will go back refreshed. or something to that effect.

so i got kinda bored lying on my bed and playing my ds the whole day. so i decided to bake.

muffins to be exact.

tried it once yest.

left out baking soda thinking that 2 g of baking soda wouldn't make much of a difference since there's baking powder already.

muffin turned out so dense. would make a good rock to throw without hurting someone TOO badly.

tried it again today. went out SPECIALLY just to get the baking soda.


and here's the results



it turned out okay. pretty normal muffins.


which makes me so irritated coz it was supposed to be mango-y and there was barely a hint of mango even after like adding a blend of 1.5 small mangoes AND mango flavoring.
and something feels missing. even though i followed the recipe exactly somewhat. ( it was supposed to be banana muffins but the bananas at ntuc look waaay too green so ya mango it is). probably i should try using the huge australian mangos instead of the small little malaysian ones. and maybe add a bit of coconut extract.
hmmm.

okay i should stop thinking about this.
2 days of non-stop muffins are kind of over the top already. 3 will get a little crazy.
and not to mention fattening since there's no one to eat my muffins.


went grocery shopping coz my parents left me at home with barely anything that is really food. (and by food i do not mean processed crap like sunshine frozen pizza) realised that grocery shopping is very expensive. spent about 50 bucks in total these 2 days. and i didn't get much. if i ate bread and bread only everyday. i could probably last only for another 2 days.
kinda crazy over sandwiches recently. made a really good ham+cheese+olives+lettuce sandwich today. thinking of making a ham+salmon+mushroom sandwich tmr morning for breakfast. yum.

sick

sick again. :(

went to work on saturday - university of newcastle graduation. and there was reception, which the ushers took.

AND we all got diarhoea. so not fun.
mine turned into fever too so now i'm 1/2 hot 1/2 cold, have a pounding headache, and have crappy crap. zzz. not the best combination

took the day off so now i'm at home. and trying to die.
shall resume my attempt to decompose now. adios

Mr Chan : " Experience can lead to stereotyping"

lots of funny and lame rubbish at dialogue session today.
weird part was Mr Chan treated me like a staff. which is so so so wrong.
attempted to write minutes just now - got past writing the introduction ( which i added quite a bit of long winded crap in) and writing the summarised main points and rearranged the main points so that academia is all togehter, and facilities are all together and etc. then i got bored so now i'm blogging. hahhaha

went home today to find my brother and my dad sleeping at liek 10pm. that's really early for both of them. asked my mom about it and she told me it was because my dad was really mad at my brother coz of his results and i suppose he got scolded really badly. brother really doesn't have the mood to study. he's too distracted and his attention span is crap. anyways he only got a band 2 for english, and the rest were all band 3s. guess being 38/40 students in class made it even worse :S

yay i got to the final chapter of that operation game on my DS! it's really nerve wrecking coz u gotta make sure the damn thing doesn't spread and keep your patient freaking alive while all sorts of rubbish starts appearing on the patient. hope i finish it soon. so annoyed with it ><

taking one week off after weiling and debbie and the rest go off for attachment. need a rest and more sleep.

and speaking of sleep. i should go zzz like now. hahaha byez!

work and wishlist

fulfilled one of my wish list.

will show u guys my nice red nds lite someday.
though i'm like super broke now


kinda cranky now. made it through work + school on 3 hrs of sleep. back sore and cant really breathe properly. still coughing too.
damn my body.

today was syf briefing cum balloting
aka damn that school who got that slot i wanted day.
heated emotions and cranky pple all over the place, esp those who really really really wanted the march slots but were like oen fo the last to be called.
and shhhh let me tell u all a secret. we ushers were conspiring to rob SCH today. wahahahah.

haiz long week ahead.
dialogue session on weds.
so not looking forward. damn tired of all these man.

good day

today's a good day :)

was pleasantly surprised with a call from guy. really didn't expect it. haha. anyway we wanted to have coffee but everywhere was crowded so we went over to the fish farm and bought a box fish for his aquarium

cute right? wanted him to buy a starfish but too bad his tank isn't very suited for it. oh well.

drove around pasir ris park for a while after that before he dropped me off and went home to sleep.

wanted to buy the $23 sweater from Fox in hot pink (not the pastel pink shown below) but they were out of stock. sales girl supposed to check for me if can be transfered over from somewhere else. hope there's still stock

work was pretty uneventful. spent the whole day chatting with pauline and gossiping about musicians and stuff. hahaha

octopus is on my bed now. wheee :)