updating and whining

suhui should update. which she is doing now. roar.

its the end of the year. and kinda time for reminiscing.


2008 has been eventful to say the least.

one sentence highlights of 2008

i graduated from the poly

i got into a lot of trouble with the registrar right before graudation.

i got a job at the esplanade

i left my job at the esplanade

i left my 4 yr job at SCH

i was offered 3 scholarships

i picked one of them

my ass now belongs to a company

i entered NUS EE

i joined climbing

MSP had a major overhaul

i got a bronze medal at worldskills singapore

i wrote my first essay in 4 years

its my 2nd anniversary

i went to angkor wat

...


i'll update the list if there's anything else i can rmb.


in any case, its really been a crazy year. so many things happened, and so many things changed. new friends, new management, new environment, new experiences. not all good. or not up to my expectations

i guess that's the key issue.

kinda wish i was back in sec school. life was a whole lot more simpler then. go to school. put up with teacher's crap for an hour or so before the next teacher comes in and gives you more crap. end school. talk crap with your friends. go home. put up with parent's crap. repeat.

as you get older, politics come in. the people around you get more, how should i put it? protective of their own territory? annoy them and things happen. you realise that whatever you do has its own repercussions, whether or not you intended it that way. in other words, karma.

and then you start to see other people's net worth. of course this happens vice versa. you hang out with people that are useful to you. simlarly, people hang out with you because you are useful to them. and useful covers a lot of ground - studies, money, popularity, ego, skills, inferiority complex, affairs of the heart etc.

add that with the finance issue, and the boyfriend crap.

finally top it off with your own crap - largely involving any combination and permutation of the seven deadly sins and your own personal devil and angel on either side of your shoulder.

voila.

this is the life of a young adult. so much for the freedom you envisioned when you were a kid.

everything comes with a price. and the price for the freedom to make your own decisions is reponsibility. and that sucks.


dunno why i'm so cynical now. might be the end of the year thing. or the blardy xmas/cny songs.

gahhhh

procrastinating. as usual.

Su hui's flight to SF is confirmed! yay :)

... why am I thinking of holidays now? zzz my mug mode button is Spoiled. sigh

will be parting with ds today. eugene will be taking care of it.. haha

yawns I'm blogging in physics Class again. I really need my mojo back. :(

I'm here blogging in class.

Yes I know i'm supposed to be a good girl & listen. but seriously, i've been anything but.
life has been majorly crappy. homework is like Piling up. exams are LITERALLY around the corner. the msp program is resetting. and of course there's the men issue. Including the inapproppriate men issue. talk about screwed.

I don't know what I'm doing recently. Just seem to be flitting around, with no direction or aim. it's really disturbing, coz I'm supposed To have an aim, and even if I don't, My energy usually makes up for it. without both...

Worldskills ended well. that's what I tell myself anyway. Could have done better though . And that feeling is sucky. i tested My limits though. and found it. It didn't kill me. so I guess it made me stronger. Not that it really matters anymore.

on the not really that much brighter side, I'm 20 now. Spent my birthday at home Making apple & Strawberry crumble pie. Kinda random but it was really good. lol how exciting right.. hurhurhur

Will blog
more later if I have time. and not playing facebook. I really really need to Start studying :(

skeletons in the closet

everyone has them.

i managed to increase the number of skeletons in my closet recently. and interestingly, i'm not bothered by it.

okay. maybe i am. a little.

its's been a really crappy week. and i think i have waay too many issues. and for those who have still got no idea what i'm talking about, dont worry, coz i've got no idea too. i'm just dumping whatever is popping out of my head. which probably explains the lack of structure and total randomness. oh well.

it's interesting how the mind works. how you can accept and be part of something that you were so much against. and damn. did i feel high after it was all over. well at least for the space of 30 mins. and THEN i started feeling restless. so much for a complete break away from reality. coz reality hits HARD after that.

.

being very cynical now. and so tempted to hit the self-destruct button. it seems like i'm losing control, which is SO not me. i feel lost, which isn't such a surprise coz i never know what i want anyway, but's bothering me a little too much nowadays.

i have a problem. but i have got NO idea what it is.

damn.

they say you should never regret. i totally agree with that. so screw it. high-ness rocks. and i think i'm becoming schizophrenic. gaaah

stole this off facebook

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. The person is real, and the feelings are real - but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."-chuck klosterman

uni

i'm staring at my work and hoping it would somehow magically finish itself. zzz.

dont know why but there's like this weird kerosene-y smell in my room. like its not bad enough with the musty smell which i managed to elminate with some jasmine air freshener. my room is so screwed la.

which brings me to the point that i'm kinda screwed too. whatever i touch in my room generates an electrostatic shock. and its damn painful when you sit down and end up shocking yourself =.=

uni life is kinda extreme. and very flexible. i mean, its like redefining freedom. those who think that poly is free enough already, wait till you come to uni. in academics you choose your own modules, and your workload. your social life gets really extreme too, depending on alot of factors like whether you stay in hall, have CCAs and actually talk to people in class. i would think its actually possible to go through one semester without talking unnecessarily - i mean most of the labs are individual and since you can have really really off timetables from the rest of your peers, its possible to go into every class and see a bunch of different pple. which is good for those loners i suppose. the workload here is kinda crazy too, labs come with analysis questions and lab reports, tutors can walk off right after class starts if you have no questions to ask in class so you kind of got to finish every damn question just in case you need him to go through something. exams carry an insanely high weightage, generally 60% (though i have one that is 80%  !??!!?!) and the pace makes the poly pace look like a joke. here, its all about how you balance everything and everything is your own business.  like whether your term tests clash with each other and your own schedule like how you manage your time such that you can finish 2 lab reports and study for 2 term tests and also finishing your tutorials within the space of a week.

if you're not careful. confirm plus chop burnout.

and of course, there's the undiscussed portion of uni life, largely involving clubs, boy + girls, smoking (even though its a non-smoking campus) and top 10 places to make out (which was actually published somewhere. like SERIOUSLY).

i'm kinda settling in. taking the internal shuttle everyday to get to my fac which is situated on a goddamn hill so i got to climb that stupid hill everyday. mugging, trying to smoke something out in the lab reports, having dinner with yizhe every now and then, annoying the TAs, slacking in my room on my bed in my old t-shirt, rock climbing every tuesday and generally trying to adapt to the world-class pace. which is fk-ed up. oh well.

its the week before term break already!

i am so screwed.

sigh.

physics doesnt freaking make sense.

die.

oh and yizhe is making me fat. >.<

Time flies. suddenly its like our 24th month. why am i still questioning our r/s though? nevertheless, its been a whole lot of unforgettable times, even though we dont really spent that much time together. :)  iheartu

exercise!

suhui is feeling a sense of achievement.


DESPITE her short legs, arms AND body

she managed to touch the top rock of the rock climbing wall..

*applause please* :D

okay.. i know i'm supposed to somehow grab it and hang on to it. but my short-ness got in my way. not that i didn't try. and i really should have jumped, but well, when u're two storeys high in the air and kind of height phobic that will never ever be on your mind.

so end up i fell wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

lol.

my level 1 course is on saturday :D looking forward.

next tues is chalk day again yay.


if i ever take some pictures i'll let u see my nice butt :D


lol and i'm in aerobics too. so wrong la. and so not me. haha

procrastinating

i am procrastinating to the max.

i've got a pile of things to clear and i haven done.

i got one qn more for my physics assignment and i am in no mood to do it.

i got a stack of readings to do but i kind of want my bed more.

and dont mention TUTORIALS to me.

and of course. there's always WSS at the back of my mind. sighhhh.



u know whats the worst part?
i'm not used to my bed.
and because i'm trying to get used to this bed, i'm not used to my home bed.
woke up cursing and swearing on sunday morning. damnit.
i need a full body massage. sigh


had "steamboat" with xiuling and a couple other random cluster mates just now.
i made salmon. yum. haha

anyway the girl staying next to me is a doctor. like wow..

the few things i'm extremely annoyed with

 

1. myself for screwing up my timetable
2. nyp for not crediting my pay
3. my eyes for wanting to droop
4. labs for not being at decent timings. zzz
5. special awards committee for not publishing their name/contact/whatever on the RSVP ><
6. the radio for playing that annoying song
7. ida for not crediting my allowance. zzz
8. my BOTH bank accnts being broke.

i'm not in the best of all moods.

on the bright side though, i've got 2 brownies for breakfast :D

 

 

23 months? ... :)

5 things i have learnt so far

1. check your email everyday. you never know what's going to be in it.
2. the e-learning portal is better than nyp's one. and you need to be super reliant on it because EVERYTHING from lecture notes to contacts to assignments to forums are all on it. so not used to that
3. brush up on reading skills. i've got about 50+ pages of readings so far. and it's barely day 3
4. there are a million exchange students in my residence. out of which the guys tend to be pretty hot and like to walk around topless. time to camp downstairs :)
5. strawberry mango juice from fass canteen is just about the nicest thing on earth. hmm.. at least, until i try strawberry soursop later when i pass by the canteen that is. wait for updates!

Day 3 and counting. havent made any friends in my LT yet. just so out of place coz everyone else seems to know each other and tend to cluster together and i generally like to sit in front which kinda makes it worst coz everyone else sits at the back. oh well

the lecturers so far are pretty good i must say - have attended 4 out of 5 modules so far. the next new one is tmr - kinda looking forward

procrastinating.

okay. after a million years of getting both my very slow notebook and my equally slow desktop to work, i finally processed the cambodia pictures.

they are now in a very nice 1.83Gb big .wmv file and is a slideshow of 28 mins.
so if you have 30 mins of spare time and wanna see some pictures of rocks and food. let me know. lol.


things been pretty mild lately.
i'm aimlessly going to work everyday. and for some reason i CANNOT seem to wake up and i end up cabbing almost everyday. im trying to make some stupid lcd work. but evidently i'm supposed to use SPI so that i can program another microcontroller with a microprocessor such that the microcontroller can control the lcd. which, apparently is not very easy to do. oh well. i think i shall shelve that and do PWM instead. zzzs

school's starting soon, which basically means i have a million things to take care of that i have yet to. like getting finance to send IDA the invoice, and checking in into PGP and applying for my ez link card. i finally did clearance in all my jobs though, so pending my last day at NYP, i will be officially unemployed. which sucks. and it doesn't help that the lazy streak in me is forever around nowadays.

highlight of the week was yest - where we went to NYNY to eat to celebrate pam's birthday. oh btw the seafood platter was really. really. really good. seriously. the calamaris are fantastic, prawns are very fresh. fish was not soggy and the cold crab was seriously good. and i forgot to mention. there was smoked salmon in it! but even though they said it was for two, i think 3 can share it comfortably. or maybe two guys with really big appetites. oh and if you get a cake there, the staff can even go to your table to sing happy birthday! which is definitely a plus if you need to embarass somebody. lol. it was really fun. then we spent the rest of the night reminiscing about our old class. :D

calvyn told me something really interesting and funny. if you've really really dark skin. like almost black kinda dark. and you have dry hair. and you wear a black cap + black shirt + black pants +black shoes, some door sensors dont work! apparently its tried and tested by one of his really really dark friends. and he was literally dancing in front of the door and it didn't open. and then all he did was - flip palm up- and the door opened! lol. its so wrong la. the door sensor is color-ist.

kinda at this point in time in life where i'm not sure what is important anymore. i mean, i KNOW what is important. like studies and whatever. but im kinda questioning it.
dont know why. haiz.

whining

its 1 am.

i'm hungry.

i'm sleepy.

i'm looking at two computer screens at once coz i got to sort out all my photos.

and i got work tomorrow.

and 500 pictures from my weekend trip to angkor, cambodia to sort through.

and i dunno why i'm wasting time blogging.

how smart of me.


anyway, silverlight rocks :)

the problem with paradoxes

 

i'm back into the whole paradox theory.. stuff that is so simple and yet so complicated, explains everything and yet nothing.. like einstein's theory of relativity where a moving clock is slower that a stationary one when observed from a stationary point.

it's simply put, perception and yet its so against our conventional way of thinking..

argh. i'm killing braincells again. and its so stitch's fault.

 

sigh.

 

school's boring as usual. though i'm getting paid to be bored so that kind of is the silver lining in the thing.

so tired. i'm annoyed with my program again. going to camp in front of the computer tomorrow to solve the damn problem where i clear PORTA and its doesn't freaking clear. argh.

oh and did i tell you that i'm stuck with a PC that has NO internet and a roller ball mouse????

so tempted to smash it.. argh

 

tomorrow is supposed to be medical checkup day for NUS(like the 3rd checkup i'm having this year. i feel like i have some chronic disease or something) but due to some unforeseen circumstances of a certain time of the month i cant go. zzz. going to call them tomorrow.

 

it's surprising how things have a habit of turning out the way you didn't expect them to. its either that or i never learn from experience about guy friends.

 

he said he doesn't understand me. and its probably easier not to try to. he said that i stand out from the crowd - with the "what can you do to me" attitude i have. he said he doesn't know why he just appears whenever i call. and he said he doesn't know why he doesn't have to be someone else when he's with me.

what does that say?

too much and too little.

i think i need to keep my distance. but i always make the same mistake of not doing that.

a few important things to update/try

 

1. figure out my new HP ipaq :) thanks to daddy
   
2. eat the jade snow whatever marketing gimmick name mc flurry thing.. i tried it once.. nice - if you like matcha powder (you know the green tea powder some of the jap restaurants use? not the lame tea bag)
   
3. harrass Rex for masala tea from nepal :) cousins are so useful lol
   
4. study :(

randoming again

 

found this while facebooking :)

 

ITE trip today. why am i so high profile??

zzz

 

5 days and counting. i'm so going to die. haiz

the day is coming

graduation - check.

annoying graduation speech - check.

scholarship - check.

scholarship info sending - check.

scholarship medical check up - pending

Salary - pending

resignation from SCH and Esplanade - pending

NUS/NTU application acceptance - check

Accommodation application - check

 

well, most of my things are done.

kind of just waiting for the day to come.

it's on June 18th. Not sure whether i'm looking forward to it.

kind of like everyone's expectations are on me just because of what i am. oh well. this is one of the bad thing about being a high-flyer.

 

really in need of a break. Jo is going bangkok next week. I'm so jealous - ha. what i would give to spend one week just shopping till i run out of money in bangkok. and the thai massages.
but then again.. hmm. at this rate i'm going i think i might just settle for a weekend at some nice hotel slacking my whole day through.

but well, its not something i can afford to do now. the qualifying round is soon so theoretically i'm supposed to build up my "fire" to it and not take a long break in the middle of nowhere.

 

IDA says i cant work part-time. which makes sense. but is really really sucky. i'd love to hang around in esplanade. wanna feel the vibe there. its just so refreshing. but oh well.. i mean, i could just go ahead, and nobody would know the better.. but well, i guess its always better to play safe.. skali somebody throw a dagger at my back.

 

grad was okay. i mean, its fun and vibe-y and all that. but i attended 2 sessions back to back so the only thing i felt was that i was damn freaking exhausted. doesnt help that the grad gown was so heavy, and the shoulder pads were so BIG. then there were all the hand shakings and photos and frozen smiles. and the messed up speech... okay.. it didn't go THAT badly but i screwed up a word just as i was ending my speech. trust silly me to do that. then my dumb little bro was "snatching" satay with the principal. so smart of him.

then that's me in the grad book.. i look. weird. hahaha.

bro took alot of messed up photos at grad. everything was blur. was so hilarious. spent the whole day laughing at him. haha okay i'm so mean.

 

was really busy recently.. there was a week-long wake and so i was there every night i think about 2 weeks ago. (sorry time is like of no consequence recently. everything just passes so fast.) Then there's work at nyp, which is so mentally draining, and work at SCH, where your karma just gets really low they just like to scream right in your face about whatever they are unhappy about. had one incident the other day during the young children's concert. quite funny when i think back, coz there are like 9 staff attending to this patron. like WHOA. haha.

got really random and started taking photos of random stuff

this is my current msn pic. hahaa

my little nephew.

snack corner @ lab. its restocked every week :)

the nails i did for graduation. or rather the graduation gave me a perfect reason to do my nails. haha

 

yizhe being random @ board room yest. hahaa

TO DO:

1. sneeze
2. plan MIXoc
3. actually pay attention to the silverlight talk going on now.
4. study chapt 7 on opamp filters (maybe do a nice app on it to consolidate. i need to IT!)
5. zzzz
6. caffien-ate myself
7. prepare for grad speech. i cant pronounce th-s for nuts.
8. shop/do something to destress
9. find $$$
10. drink. surprisingly i havent touched alcohol for slightly more than a month or so
11. try to make my hair less of a mess now that its slightly curly
12. find my bed and hug it.
13. think of something to do with the pink octopus coz its ending up on the floor far too often. and that basically means its taking up too much space on my bed.
14. find a letterbox to throw a overdue letter in. IDA is so going to kill me
15. play guitar hero :D

pics from chalet

suhui


luppy


more of suhui


joseph


Wilson (whom i'll be joining at NUS)


Desmond


Jeremy



Cabbage captain's ball

from yizhe :)

chalet

back from chalet - MS retreat

created a huge scandal about myself. hahaha. and involved 2 innocent guys, namely luppy and joseph. lol damn wrong.


anyway i watched iron man TWICE.
2 days in a row to be exact.

once was with stitch - who made me wait for him for 2 freaking hours. AND made me watch the show at the very first row of the theatre.
second time was in the middle of the night with joseph, shahfiq, desmond and jeremy.

it has a very good plot. story was told very fluently - though the very last ending could have been a little better (kinda corny the way it ended)
but still... it's reallly really good. one of the best plots i have seen so far.

had a good talk last night with jo, cs, luppy and alvin about the next meeting.
think it would be really fun :P hopefully things start going up again

maybe this isn't working out.

big decisions

as i just twittered - i made a big decision that set my life path for the next 6 years or so.

the past few weeks hasn't been fun at all - was running around places attending scholarship interviews all over the freaking place.

finally there's some result - so to speak.
was offered 3 scholarships, DSTA, LTA and IDA

wasn't too keen on DSTA, so it was mainly a fight between LTA and IDA.

trust me. choosing between a company where u know the work is suitable for your personality and a company where u see yourself there isn't the easiest decision.

damn. sometimes i just want to be given no choice. but on the other hand i think i will still complain. hahaha

so IDA it is. after a long afternoon of stoning and gossiping with Ms Lim. lol

quotes

stole this off weiling's blog.
it says alot. too much.

i could have just kept my mouth shut. i mean, what you dont know won't kill you right?
but it isn't right that i kept it shut as a secret.
neither do i want the burden of a secret, especially with you.

i dont blame you for thinking that way. really.
i've talked about mindsets a long time ago on this blog, and it's the same case again.
the pple arnd you are like that. what stops you from thinking that i wont be that?

you dont trust me. i know that.
whatever i say will not change that. or remove your doubts and fears.

and even though u keep saying that its my choice, i know that you're not comfortable with it.
is it so hard to say that out?

i dont feel good about this.
and there is a deja vu-y feeling that there will be a backlash.

i dont like this feeling at all.

we have been in and out of it.
i dont know whetherit has made us stronger, or more tired ot this r/s
i hope that there's really something there. and i hope that it lasts.

update to the previous update

and i just rmbed.

tangs is gonna have a fair at NYP.

and guess what are some of the brands they are featuring?

triumph and sloggi.

right. like who would buy lingerie in a fair setting in the poly?

seriously.

annoyed

it's one of the days where i feel like killing somebody. period.

just restless and annoyed i guess. argh.

today was spent trying to get that PCB board working. which obviously didnt work. and i still dont know what's wrong. argh.

probably i should go poke some enemies on my ds.

either that or go for retail therapy.

which btw, is burning a huge hole in my pocket.

i randomly bought a $75 bag.

and randomly went into a nail salon after my IDA interview

and randomly went to do my brows after my MS interview.

and randomly bought a new pink and white mouse. and i was so tempted to buy the MS presenter mouse. which isn't cheap. and that's how random i got.

zzz. i should really stop being random. argh

falling sick

my head is pounding

my nose is blocked

my ears are ringing

and my eyes are tearing


great. and i still need to go school tmr to talk to corporate comms.

anyway.. i've got an offer from a company! let's see if more comes in..

hmm..



and my brother can seriously go knock the wall.

he left remnants of himself (so-to-speak) on my bed. and for some reason ants like it. and when i got home last night there was one patch of ants on my bed. ewww. had to change the damn sheet in the middle of the night. gross


sigh.. one more long week ahead. damn i'm like burning all my weekends.
also dunno why i chiong until like that. sigh

ramblings

1. bored.
2. it's the end of the week.
3. time is flying and yet moving so slowly at the same time.
4. i feel cranky.
5. "it" is late. which is seriously bothering me even though i suspect stress which kind of makes me more stressed.
6. i miss casual clothing- have been in formal for 4 days straight.
7. need to study memory mapping. but no mood.
8. a town called eureka is very very very very very nice. finished watching both seasons. now i'm bored.
9. i want the DS version of guitar hero.
10. i gossip too much.
11. i miss working at esplanade.
12. i'm bored.
13. i'm hungry.
14. i havent had alcohol for SOO long.
15. i dont like when pple pressurise me to make decisions
16. i dont like when pple hint me
17. the chicken rice today @ south canteen wasn't the best.
18. i wanna eat thai chilli fish rice @ my work place
19. and ayam penyet at Marina square
20. i miss my bed
21. my pink octopus is cute
22. my brother is dumb and annoying
23. oh, and he just got 2 injections in school. ahahhaha
24. i'm thirsty
25. and bored. i mentioned that right?

:(

Stuff's that been happening

that's the ferrari i bought by the way. haha. it's now with ronnie. he's going crazy over it.

ANYWAY,

been real busy lately

stuffs that has been going on:

1. MSP recruitment
   


2. Scholarship stuffs



3. Worldskills Training



4. Ubin Cycling
   

MSP Recruitments

were okay. I mean, they could have been better, in terms of organisation, logistics and planning. And of course, the people who went to the interview itself. Quite funny really. And of course, i did stupid things like carrying suse the lizard all over L22, much to the amusement of all the potential candidates. I mean, random is good right? haha. But i was really really tired that day, to the extent that me and luppy spent 5 mins listening to the Macdonalds telecom without realising we have to press 1 to get to the delivery line. in fact, so tired that we didn't even get to play guitar hero! which is such a rarity nowadays.

Now that results are out, (we spent over an hour discussing - though there was much digression) i'm pretty much a happy girl. All the pple that i want in are in! like yay :) I still ahve one slot left though - hope that desmond will take the position. it would be great if he could!

luckily my pple's mini screw-ups werent that bad. whew

Scholarships

so i had the opportunity to go on site visits to some pretty interesting places. Not sure whether it's NDA though so i shall not mention names (and partly because i dont want my blog to appear on search hits) but just look at the picture and u'd pretty much have a rough idea of where i was.
Friday was a crazy day for me man.

Morning i had a assessment at D* and thereafter i rushed down to school to sort out some stuffs for lay sze. Then i went to above mentioned place.

D* assessment was insanely interesting. it was a situational test and i've never replied to so many emails in 2-3 hours in my freaking life. And each email was practically an essay. then they pull you out in the middle of nowhere to roleplay with this random guy who's supposed to be your colleague and is very difficult to handle. for some reason i think i didn't really do that well for that. There's also this presentation that you ahve 10 mins to prepare for, think THAT was okay (thank god for the training MSP has provided me. seriously)

the afternoon was supposed to be a psychometric test for another organisation, but luckily, because i took it before, i dont have to take it again. whew. thinking back, that was another insane test man. joined them later in the afternoon for a site visit. That was quite interesting, though for some reason, the parents who tagged along were asking all the questions (like seriously). It was quite an eye opener

this morning was at harborfront for another site visit with another company. visited the showflats near the area. Most memorable was the one that cost 10mil. It was really beautiful, and sea view is like woah! The master bedroom's toilet is big enough to slot a little bed in. really. went to the shipyards and rigs

that's a jack up

and a FF something. hahaa

very interesting, and challenging too. I mean, its a place i'd fall in love with, but for some reason, i'm having 2nd thoughts about whether i want to work in a shipyard kind of environment. But i guess it's always good to expose myself. we'll see.

hopefully i'm shortlisted for K and once more for D*. still waiting for PSC to call me though.

Worldskills Training

status: killing brain cells. enough said

Ubin Cycling

was supposed to go team bonding with MS @ ubin. response wasnt good however, by the time that week arrived, there were just 6 of us. on the day itself, luppy and alvin both couldn't wake up, so it was me chunsiong yizhe and weijie left. chunsiong brought a friend though, so it was 5 of us.

btw, we made a mistake of getting those bicycles designed for females. It is totally not suitable for off track cycling. Though the good part was that it had a basket for us to dump stuff and for chunsiong to dump his water in.

we cycled to the quarry, then to the beach, had coconut juice. i spent like 15 mins catching little crabs at the soft coral by the beach. they are sooooo cute. hahaha

some pictures taken. They were mostly random shots. hahaa

random photos in chronological order

this was a random shot in SCH. one of the seats fell apart so we took a photo. that's lin jiang btw. haha



my current happy place - timbre @ substation. love the bands performing on friday and sat. friday's one is random. saturday's one is vibey. and the pizzas are absolutely fantastic.



meet suse - the chameleon thing from linux ( i think) its cute. and i coffee-fied it today :(
otherwise known as cindy in MS context.



eagles's camp just over. missed sir kelvin! was great feeling the vibe back again when watching the juniors have fun and shout at each other. but of course something dumb had to happen (and speaking of which, i'm seriously having a bad 1st quarter in 2008). hopefully they dont turn around and kill the innocent bystander. sigh.

above photo's stitch and mas btw. 2 of my favorite guys! love them and miss them. stitch especially.



this was another random shot coz i stole stitch's army glasses for fun. look damn nerd in them. hahahaha.



3 presidents together! best time to take a family photo. so that's grandmother, father and great grandfather right there, taken day before when dear yuhau came down to study and i manage to catch him. SEG Club rocks!



taken last night @ TCC. one of their new drinks which looks very nice. its basically vanilla icecream floating in expresso. yum



random shot taken at MS. he's korean and on a poster for the heroes happen here event. that's all i know about him. ahahhaha


Before:

15 mins later (same shot):



interesting shot @ MS of the thunderstorm cloud.

esplanade 2

so this bunch of boys were pretty great too.

just got back home actually, was sleeping over at esplanade last night coz i wanted to be on call for them just in case one of them who was ill needed to see a doctor.

it's been really fun, made friends with ian and mark - ian wrote me a little note that i kept in my wallet, mark took lots of pictures with me. they are gonna send me everything. woohoo!

and i suppose that they are at this very moment on a flight out of singapore to their next destination. miss them already.

feel really bad though - have been chasing them around all of the 3 days. haha

hmm smell of their cologne now from hugging them. lol.

k i shall go catch zzzs. esplanade was too freaking cold. brrr

esplanade

i know i havent been blogging. its not my fault. the last time i tried to i couldn't even get anything published. zzz.

anyway. ulcer at the side of my mouth. why? coz of donuts, coffee, chocs and all sorts of rubbish eaten during mosiac. and dont get me started on macdonald's strawberry milkshakes. i'm so addicted to them.

been working at esplanade for the past couple of days. its a fantastic place man, the friendliness of everyone, the natural tendency to go all out for others, whether or not they are your artists. it's just the vibe and its almost like a drug how good it does to your spirits after a couple of days. and of course i have been getting really great artists so far. the one i just sent off this morning, he's great and friendly and really really cool. been getting starbucks expressos for him and the tour manager and the other day i bought donuts for them on an impulse. lol. i love donuts.

met this interesting french guy the other day who took one look at me with 2 cups of double expressos in hand and asked me if i was getting them for raul. i was like ?? how did u know that? and he went "coz only an american guy would specially ask for starbucks expressos." lol that was a great observation.

anyway its a crazy week. yest i was concussed upon reaching home. (ask michelle) today had a early flight and a morning test and a presentation with gary later on. felt pretty great though, esp after the artistes hugged me goodbye and i sent them through the check-in area. tmr would be another 3 airport pick ups, the first one at 555am. whew.

and to end off, check this out:

random updates

random updates made in 3rd person.

suhui misses her old laptop.
and she's saving up for a new one.

suhui likes the bartenders @ timbre. btw - their names, just in case close friend of hers forgets, are nirah, anson and shah + irene
suhui is also annoyed by them and their irritating magic tricks.

suhui passed the psychometric test too. probably only because of the visual reasoning part.
now she has got to go for a psychological test at 830 freaking am in the morning.
yizhe and joseph says that its to determine whether suhui is crazy.
suhui doesnt understand why they need 4 hours to do that. besides, suhui is not entirely sure whether she is sane in the very first place -laughs-

suhui is taking up 2 assignments for mosaic.

suhui is also cranky. as starfish and joseph can testify. lol.

and suhui is not in school today. yay

crappy crappy crap

:(

lost my laptop.

enough said.

hai.

can some kind soul please please return it to the mrt control station?

it's a hp lappie with a red skin in a lime greent pouch.


i want my laptop back..

Working Experiences and Learning Points

last week was a major learning experience for me.

was at the esplanade working.. Sound Seed Project

basically it involves alot of electronic music, lights, visuals and a very interesting use of space and projection materials such as plastic balloons.

pretty cool actually.

so yup, i was helping to set up, though it wasnt really part of my job scope, along with the EYs

spent the whole entire week planting seeds and blowing balloons.. my conclusion is that i really need to eat more carrots (i can't freaking see in the dark), and that i'm gonna have a nice butt now that its over ( imagine standing/squatting/ sitting cross-legged for hours on end. trust me, squatting down is the best way to stretch the butt muscles. they hurt like crazy now. :( )

kind of cool seeing this kind of project set up from scratch
plus, i got to land helicopter flowers on the audience's heads for all 3 shows! i'm so guilty of 高楼拋物 lol

learned lots of stuffs - including conversing better in chinese. haha

2nd learning point. never ever ever let somebody in the freaking SECURITY dept like you. trust me. i'm literally being spied on. i walk out to marina square from the satellite counter, and said guy in the green room actually knows about it.
oh and ya, he got my number because it's actually at the security counter for them to spam call me if i dont return the dressing room key.
plus he's been trying to give me chocs while i'm at work.

anyone wants to talk to me about invasion of privacy?

Mark suggested that i so tell him that i got together with a boyfriend and act insanely happy about it. i think i just might have to do that, especially if it continues on during Mosaic..
either that or i talk to him about professionalism - Minchu gave me that idea.

zzz why do all the weirdest people like me?

well otherwise working there is pretty fun - the people are nice and friendly (generally) and the crew at TS likes to disturb me. (i was asked to climb up to the ceiling yest to take down all the speakers). The security guards all know me - i like to think that's because i'm nice (:D) though it might just be another case.. got to know a few other ALOs.. watched the hunks at what is man? (the lead actor is .... omfg.. ) in fact i hung around at the theatre after their show for a full 15 mins to look at guys while talking to Belle. haha.. then i was so exasperated at kelvin yest coz he was complaining that he was tired coz he woke up at 6am to play soccer and rushed to work at 10 and stayed on for the party till midnight, and he was rushing home ..... to watch ManU vs Arsenal. MEN! for a moment i actually thought he wanted to go home and sleep. seriously.

looking forward to Mosaic. which reminds me, i want to buy the Mosaic tank from esplanade shop. haha

choices

it's no fun when you dont have a choice.
neither is it fun when you DO have a choice, and many at that.

kinda sucks when everything is hanging onto each other in a freakingly horrifyingly tangled mess. gives you the feeling that when one drops, the rest will come crashing down as well.

it's like you're sitting in a kopitiam and drinking coffee and waiting for the world to go by while there's this fan spinning over your head which is in serious danger of crashing down SPLAT! on your head.


i think you get why it's not a very nice feeling.



submitted my nus app already. now i need to get the paperwork done and pay.
i dunno what to do for ntu. not every sure why i'm applying anyway. probably because i feel insecure just applying to nus.
gaaah. rubbish.


emo-ed yest. though somebody tried to cheer me up.
very tired of being strong for everyone - my dad, my mom, my bro and now even my aunt.
and its scary when everything is threatening to just crumble. and the thing is i'm just waiting for the bricks to fall, while everyone is expecting me to keep the ceiling up.
it's horrifying. not to mention overwhelming.


how do you support the ceiling when the foundation is gone?

等了又等

went to orchard with weiling and han wei today to cny shop.
bought 1 top, 1 belt, 1 pair of earring and 1 necklace.
kinda think i'm shopping for new accessories more than clothes.
ha.
but it was fun.

met gary at topshop (:S) and chatted over some issues.
nice to hear that wu is doing something like finally.

work was kinda rubbishy.
got shouted at by a bunch of patrons coz there's the rule that admission is only allowed during the end of the the first piece i.e the rest who comes later than 8:07pm has to wait for intermission at approx 845-900. to the extent that there were vulgarities hurled.
then there was this family drama when this guy brought the wife and 4 kids and only 5 tickets. and moreover one of the kids was (obviously) below 6. shall not elaborate but anyway he was mean to all the girls, including our marketing staff. then he kept insisting on going in with the whole family. and after that because he missed an entry point, the wife threw a temper and stormed off and threw the program booklet on the floor. >.<
then florence shouted at pauline over the autograph session.

man. what a day.

be at esplanade on monday and tuesday.
sort of nervous.
hopefully things will turn out well.

等了又等..
几时才能等得到?
等了又等..
希望.. 真的能等得到..

等了又等
陈洁仪

但愿栽花可以忘掉伤感
季节变迁了 始终不改我心
但愿你未在人生中消失
抹掉眼泪为你再等 时日秒秒细致像尘
仍为你记录了在何年何月与日
曾是爱过便叫人兴奋
纵让折磨的心 等了又等

爱着你 挂念你 渴望你前来和我接近
花也哭 花亦笑 似在说 无望也不要紧
我愿意 有日会 一觉苏醒这梦会变真
你若有日回来 重生多可爱
盼为我亲这心 深深去吻

但愿花朵可以陪伴一生
季节变迁里 细数天天变更
动物 作伴未能开解痴心 暗地里又为你再等

running

all the essay writing is making me cranky.
i hate to inner reflect.
it makes me feel so useless.
and essay writing makes me feel really narcissist
wat with all the extra fluff i got to add in.

why does running away always seem to be the best solution?

miss u. haiz

been so sleepy lately.
dunno why

nus scholarship talk on friday

psc submission now.
reminder to self:
fax in sec sch cca records
write "Statement of Purpose: What are some of the values and beliefs you hold strongly to? Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions. " essay.

dunno where to start. blah

blah blah blah

learned a few things last night. lol

wasn't in a good mood when i went ot work- family matters

ended up dragging royston out (even though project assignment is due tmr for him. =x whoops) after work. wanted to drink , then changed to coffee and end up ronnie joined us and we had Mac at circular road.

so damn empty there lor. we had the whole of mac to ourselves so we were talking rubbish. and plotting misdeeds to overtake other companies for ushering. and exchanging pointers to "keng". lol. so evil.

anyway, ronnie taught us how to get fresh french fries (fries w/o salt please! and can i have a packet of salt for my coke? lol). and fresh burgers (can i have my bun grilled a little longer? and my fillet o fish w/o tartar sauce). and when to go shopping for IT stuff coz of the distribution and reseller patterns of clearing stock. and how he has 5 handphones and the telcos are subsidising all his bills. and the tatic to questioning regarding credit card waivers.
lol. conclusion, ronnie and huatchee are king when it comes to these "keng"ing stuff.

open house over the weekend. damn tiring considering there was no crowd and there was nothing to do besides standing around and looking pretty.
kinda concerned over the club matters though. but i dont wanna step in until i absolutely have to.

went for the esplanade interview on thurs. damn fast - it finished in like 5 to 10 mins. (probably coz i was the last one. lol) they will inform me regarding the results this week. dunno whether getting it will be a good thing. after all i didnt inform them about the possibility that i will be temp-ing with nyp. oh well.

had sushi after that with somebody whom i havent seen in a while. we talked quite a bit. glad to hear she's doing fine, though not sure how long more that will last.

damn drained emotionally. though dinner last night cheered me up considerably. oh well. guess i will be okay. i think

life sucks

back from 3 day trip to genting

used the time to get some alone time

so now i'm recharged and at full gear - though not by choice. haha



kinda sucks when u switch off for a couple days and come back and everything's not going well.

sucks even more when u know u sacrificed so much for something and end up there is a high possibility that u can't enter just because of the screwed up window period. and its really annoying knowing how little u can do about it and just have to sit there and wait for the fate to be decided.
and the stupid scholarship issue coz i really dont know what the freaking hell i want though i know that i really need it. or rather that's what my father thinks
and that leads me to the uni issue.
and then there's the IES competition and i need to get the powerpoint out for the internal presentation.
and open house is so unproductive.
and i keep getting the feeling that i'm trying to have my cake AND eat it. like the contract staff thing. and the esplanade thing. and the usher thing. and the microsoft thing. and the starfish thing.
i think i have too many things.

and i'm ranting too much.
i hate it when my mind's in such a whirl.

fk. life sucks.
and i hate it when i cant control how much my life sucks.